Tuesday, March 2, 2010

It's not supposed to be easy...

We are sitting at 31 weeks gestation with Elizabeth Hope still safely within my womb.  But as i "sit" here, I really should be laying down.  As if the last two pregnancies didn't remind me enough of how little control we actually have on this ride of life, we are now dilated to a 3 (possibly more) and on bedrest for the duration of this pregnancy.  

I am overwhelmed at the emotions flooding my soul so please forgive my scatterings.  I offer them up.

This may be TMI for some of you but i have often thought that my deepest thoughts and clearest messages from the Lord come thru when I'm in the shower. I have a "theology" about it, if you will.  It is when we are in our purest form, our most vulnerable. It's when we are most able, in body and soul, to return to how it was supposed to be in paradise.  So naturally, that is when we hear the Lord speak to our hearts.  At least, that's how it's always been for me. :)  So this morning, during my shower,  I again spoke...and then listened.  And what is pulling at my heart right now is that Love isn't SUPPOSED to be EASY.  God has given us the most perfect example of what LOVE LOOKS like...and that most beautiful and broken body upon that most beautiful cross is what reminds us that LOVE MEANS SACRIFICE.  It's just not supposed to be roses all the time.  It's:
Blessed be Your name
when the sun's shining down on me
when the world's all as it should be
blessed be your name

blessed be your name
on the road marked with suffering
though there's pain in the offering
blessed be your name

It's more like this for us right now. It's more of an offering on a road marked with suffering.  Today it's less like the world's all as it should be.  But still we will say "blessed be your name.   So even tho it's not so easy to love when you have to give up your body for the life within, even if that life is not meant to breathe even one breath in this world, still we sacrifice and suffer and offer it up.  Still we say blessed be your name.  Even when our neighbors judge us, still we love them.  Even when we have to look at our spouses and say "i don't really like you right now..." but still we love them.  Even when friends leave, the banks are calling, the cars are broken, still we say blessed be your name.

Honestly, this post was more for me than for me to preach at ya.  I needed to be reminded of this as i journey on this road that sometimes feels to narrow for anyone to walk it with me.  Then i look to my side, and see those friends...who just sacrifice right along with me.  Even when it's not so easy to love ME.


  1. Praying for you and Elizabeth. I am sorry that you are on bedrest. I hope that this experience causes you to grow closer to the Lord as you learn to "be still".


  2. Praying for you and your sweet baby girl. I know bedrest isnt easy or fun, so know that I am thinking and praying always!!

    This was a great post & I love that song!!

  3. wow! i finally remembered to check out your post and i am crying..cause..well you know why this means a ton..that car ride..my prayer request..you telling me to check out your blog..wow, Lord, wow!

    i love you

  4. Sorry to hear that you've been put on bedrest. But we do whatever is best for those little ones in us! Praying for you and Elizabeth!